Friday morning me, him, his step dad and mom woke up early. Around 4Am and got ready to head out that way. Me,Him and his step dad made it to State, bright and early. Signed in, found our class *ect*. That afternoon we played with fire in our bunker gear and it got hot The doubt crept up on me "What if i can't handle the real heat of a fire. Maybe i'm not cut out for this" so from day one i was unsure of how i was going to handle it, but i pushed through Friday, Saturday...it got very hot and i gave up, I didn't do the smoke trailer or the little obstacle . I gave up but i promised the next day i'd give my 110%. The next day we played with water. The heavy hose and and little mistakes pushed me over the edge. I stripped out of my gear and didn't want to continue. I was done i told everyone "I'm not cut out for this. i give up" everyone knew i was just overwhelmed and kept saying "You're going to get back out there" and after my best friend, his family. my adult fire fighters and my Junior's all told me to get back out there. I dried my tears, grabbed my gear and got back out there. Was i perfect at the hose...Nah, Did i try though,,,yeah. I felt so proud of myself even though i gave up, i got back out there, My instructor from day one said "What you do after you fail, determines who you are". More drama happened prier to the last day that really made me want give it all up, but when everyone didn't give up on me, it was then i understood that i wasn't going give up on me either.
Then when i got home my 6 year old sister drew pictures of me as a firefighter and said "I like what you do as a firefighter Emmy". I've worked too hard for this. I've put so much energy in this and i'm not ready to give up
It's hard to not give up sometimes. I'm so glad you have a support group to help you through those times.
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